I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
