I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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