if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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