I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
