how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
