butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize