i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
