her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
