He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
