i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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