Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
