You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
