Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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