I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The police scanner is talking about you again....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
