remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's official drugs can't kill me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
