U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
