I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize