I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
