good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
