Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
