My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize