IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize