she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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