somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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