The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
