i jhust puked up my retainher.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
