I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
