I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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