i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
