And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
