i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
