He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
