Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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