I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
