ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
