Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
