Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
