My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I looked at my own cervix.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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