Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
