I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
