Apparently you make a good broom.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
