what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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