defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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