I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
