He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize