We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dicks are not precious.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize