why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
