why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
