sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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