hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
