If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
