Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
