they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
