mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
