White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
