let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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