Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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