2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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