Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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