belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
