i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
