Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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