I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have post one night stand depression
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
