yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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