idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
pray to the hookup gods
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
