what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
