: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
