afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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