"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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