Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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