He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
