you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
