Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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