Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
