so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
