Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
