I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
