idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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